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People talk behind your back

People talk behind your back. Thats just a fact. But you know, a lot of people think you don’t know that, just because you don’t pay attention to them. In this article I will explain why it’s not a problem that people talk behind your back and why you shouldn’t care.

people talk behind your back - lifestyle - personal - www.sofarsosabine.com blogger

Talk behind your back

It’s so obvious when you come into a room and p
eople get quiet. In these situations, the best thing is just to think “While you’re talking behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass” haha. And don’t forget to laugh about it. I have been in contact with people that talk behind my back and sometimes, we all talk about each other. For example that annoying colleague at work or that fake friend. But let’s be realistic. What does it mean when people talk behind your back? And why should you not care?

“While you’re talking behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass”

Your life is interesting

People talk behind your back - lifestyle - personal - www.sofarsosabine.com Actually, when people talk behind your back, their own life is probably not that interesting. If you have so much to talk about, what you’ve done in the weekend or your passions in life, you don’t have time to talk behind someones back, now do you? It must be that your life is so much more interesting to talk about. It’s obvously interesting enough to spend time on, instead of having positive vibes around, while having a good conversation.
I have a happy life, a husband who I love, two doggies, our second child is on the way, we bought a big house and I feel blessed. I count my blessing after everything we have been through, losing our daughter. I don’t have time for small minded people talking shit because they don’t know better. And neither should you!

Girl, your life is interesting when people talk about it! It’s something you should be thankful for.

Two steps ahead

Let them talk that talk. It shows when people talk behind your back, that you’re always two steps ahead darling. Do you seriously think they will talk about un-interesting things? So keep moving forward and go forward, your two steps ahead already! Don’t look back, let the people behind you be, that’s exactly where they are supposed to be. Looking at your back. My husband always says, when you look forward, you look into the future and when you look back, you can’t focus on the future things ahead. I’m not saying it’s bad to remember the past and think about it sometimes when you need to. That’s just healthy. I just think it’s good to realize that when you’re always two steps ahead, others will always be two steps back. It’s important to hang out with people of your own level. I can’t live or hang out with people that are always negative and make you feel bad about who you are. My motto for years: I am who I am, nobody said you had to like it. People misjudge me a lot, simply because they don’t know me and don’t dare to ask in my face. I know as being Dutch, I am straight forward and honest. I rather be hated for that, than to be loved for something I’m not. Hypocrite people are a decease to the world. I realize that fake people will always exist and talk behind your back. And that’s ok. That stage is their own learning path. They need to go through this level in order to grow.

“I am who I am, nobody said you had to like it…”

Insecurity

Usually it shows insecurity. When people are insecure and don’t know what to say more, why not speak about someone else? Even to hide insecurity. Nervous and insecure people do a lot of things to hide that they are actually very small and think low about themselves. It can be that they laugh a lot, just to hide how sad they are. Pretending like everything is funny what you say. Making jokes about every single comment… Or maybe they even believe their own fake smile just to feel better. One of the things they can do is talking behind your back. Just pay attention to the signs that are showing. If your instincts say, there’s something nervous or strange about that person, usually it’s like that. And it’s really not about you my dear! If your dearest friends and family love you, who can break you then? A low life person that has not seen more than a nightclub and drinking? Sleeping around to hide the loneliness? Girls that beg for attention by selling their bodies… Babe, don’t do that.
Or a person that doesn’t read a book, or never traveled outside their own country? The person that doesn’t dare to change partner because he or she is too afraid to end up alone. Or that single person that never starts a relationship because he or she is so insecure? But has the biggest stories about other peoples relationships? Do you take those people serious? Really? Just remember, if people have a problem with you and they don’t talk to you about it… problem solved right? Why would you even try and chase silly people? Let them be sweetheart! And don’t let their level rule your world.

Not easy

I know that it’s not always easy for every one to just let it be and get over it. So if you really have issues with a person, talk with someone that does understand you and relieve some stress. However, my husband isn’t always the same sensitive as I can be. Men seems to live on another planet sometimes. Then it’s just better to talk to a girl friend instead. Same for men, if your wife isn’t understanding you because, really, you don’t express it in a good way, maybe it’s better to go play pool and come back happy. Men solve problems different. They give each other a smack in the face or they watch football and their problems are forgotten.
Don’t give people the power to poison your relationship. Especially women can be so mean. But actually it’s just so stupid to give them the power to poison. If you simply dust of your shoulders and let it go, they can keep their own negativity. Just give that little bottle of poison back. Don’t drink it!

I have some songs that can cheer you up when you’re having a bad time and you just want to have some inspiration to turn your feelings into a stronger attitude, or just laugh about the lyrics ’cause they are hilarious sometimes! Music always keeps my mood up and it makes you realize that everyone has a bad day sometimes. Don’t forget.

Disclaimer
You know, to talk about problems or when you’re worried and caring about someone, doesn’t mean your gossiping. There’s a difference between talking behind someones back and ventilating about your worries for someone. Which is usually meant in a good way and with love.
Oh and I am not a shrink, I’m just telling you my opinion. Thanks for reading it all the way until the end.

Let me know how you deal with negative people and people that talk behind your back, in a comment below. Don’t forget to keep your head up high!

Playlist for “the backstabbers”:
1. Cry me a river – Justin Timberlake
2. Miss Movin’ On – Fifth Harmony
3. Potential Break Up Song – Aly & AJ
4. Leave (Get out) – JoJo
5. Rather Be – Clean Bandit
6. Ur so Gay – Katy Perry
7. Fuck You – CeeLo Green
8. Take a Bow – Rihanna
9. Fuck it (I don’t want you back) –  Eamon
10. Backstabber – Kesha
11.  Sleazy – Kesha
13. Since you been gone – Kelly Clarkson
14. Kill em with Kindness – Selena Gomez
15. Leave my heart out – Fifth Harmony

Love and hugs,

Sabine

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33 Comments

  • Reply
    Nora
    18 February 2017 at 15:32

    Excellent post! I think it’s the same case with inappropriate blog comments. At some point I just realized that they wouldn’t read my blog if it wasn’t interesting irrespective of what they say anonymously. I heard one artist saying “If people don’t hate what you’ve done, you haven’t done all that much”. I think it’s true! If people talk / write about you, you have done something noticeable and people are probably just jealous.

    Best,
    Nora / http://dreamerachiever.com

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:45

      Excellent reply actually. I totally agree and good statement of that artist!

  • Reply
    Sandra Tsai
    18 February 2017 at 16:25

    Love this, such great advice! Don’t spend time worrying about people who talk behind your back because they’re not the kind of people you should give any care or thought to anyways! :)

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:46

      True! Thank you Sandra :)

  • Reply
    Elien
    18 February 2017 at 16:57

    Interesting article!
    I don’t care what people tell each other about me behind my back. You should enjoy your life instead of worrying all the time. That’s what really matters! Life is too short! :-)

    Loved reading it XXX

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:46

      Yes life is too short for sure!
      Thanks for the compliment. xx

  • Reply
    Anna
    18 February 2017 at 17:56

    This comes with time, to understand that it must dont care us what people think. Everytime I say – we live one time, and we must live like we want and do what we want. Better spend time with family and dont think about people that we dont know. Everybody have own lifestyle.

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:46

      Yes it takes time Anna! Yes everybody is unique!

  • Reply
    Katja
    18 February 2017 at 20:31

    People talk behind your back because you’ve done something more interesting than their every day lives are. I don’t care what people say about me, I’m flattered they take time out of their day to talk about me ?
    Katja xxx
    http://www.katnapped.com

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:47

      Exactly, I am flattered too! <3

      Thank you Katja!

  • Reply
    Jasmin N
    18 February 2017 at 20:57

    Wonderful post! I’ve never really cared if someone talked about me behind my back, but that might be because I’m from a small town so that’s something to get used to haha. They still do talk about me some weird stuff in my hometown & when I hear something, I usually add something more to the story 😀 it’s my own fun game to play.

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:47

      Oh yes, small towns, that helps 😉

      haha it’s a good way to deal with it like that, Jasmin!

  • Reply
    Leny
    18 February 2017 at 21:11

    Ja het is slecht voor je hart om er over in te zitten wat mensen achter je rug om zeggen, ze zijn het niet waard.
    Natuurlijk is het niet fijn om te horen wat er achter je rug om over je gezegd wordt, en zeker niet als het niet klopt wat er gezegd wordt.
    Maar leef je leven zoals jij het leven wil en maak je niet druk over wat een ander daar van vindt, want het maakt niet uit hoe je het doet, je doet het toch nooit goed.
    Dus don’t worry, be happy ?

    • Reply
      sofarsosabine
      18 February 2017 at 23:48

      Ja zo is het mam!
      Je hebt weer eens helemaal gelijk
      xx

  • Reply
    MishyV
    18 February 2017 at 21:17

    You explained it perfectly! If someone’s talking about you behind your back you shouldn’t let that get to you… It’s hard to do that but it’s necessary unless you want to worry your whole life…

  • Reply
    Kaleigh
    19 February 2017 at 16:26

    hahaha I love this post!!! Especially the playlist 😉 You touched on some great points though!!

  • Reply
    Maikel
    19 February 2017 at 19:12

    Darling I so agree with you. That Chanel quote is everything, defenitly brings back those good old memories of you and I❤ MISS YOU SO MUCH?

  • Reply
    Chantal
    19 February 2017 at 19:44

    You are so right. I think that lots of successful people are dealing with this kind of thing actually. There are many people who doesn’t want you to do well or better then them. Like you said… it’s often their insecurities but also jealousy.

  • Reply
    Tescha Chetty
    19 February 2017 at 20:36

    I am so happy I read this post. This week people have been really talking bad about me behind my back and I knew it. Ive actually left the country a few times, started a blog on my own and doing my thing! these people that are talking about me are trying to make me look incompetent so that they can look good at work….HAHAHA. Love you for this post. It the harsh truth:)

  • Reply
    Carola
    19 February 2017 at 20:49

    I love the chanel quote! It’s great. People will talk behind your back. It’s a pity that’s the way it is. Especially when you’re more in the spotlight, people will do that. I agree with you, it’s because someone is interesting that other people do that. Or because they lack self-confidence. Love the playlist :)

  • Reply
    Sheri
    19 February 2017 at 21:19

    People will always have something to say about a person, both good bad and gossip. It is just the way it is and we have to remain thick-skinned and remember it is a reflection of them not us.

  • Reply
    Nya
    19 February 2017 at 21:41

    I love this, great advice and excellent perspective on the topic. I couldn’t agree more that when people talk too much behind others’ backs it can only mean their life is not that interesting. I find myself having issues connecting to people who only know one topic of conversation: Talking about other people. I have plenty of interests and topics to talk about, so whenever I’m in a group of people and all they talk is about others, I feel bored to death. That’s when people consider me an introvert – and while I am bit, okay, I admit, the main issue is really I am unable to do gossip talk when there’s no other common topic of interest.

  • Reply
    Stella the Travelerette
    20 February 2017 at 01:33

    I think this is very good advice! I have had some problems with a coworker speaking negatively about the quality of my work behind my back. At first it upset me because I thought it would damage my professional reputation. But in fact, she just does it because she’s insecure and it’s made people think less of her and not me. You are wise not to let gossip bother you!

  • Reply
    Maaya Legaspi
    20 February 2017 at 04:19

    I totally agree on every points presented here. I mean these people who talk behind people’s back are bunch of losers. And for me, if they do it to you, it means that they have so much free time that they just can’t have something interesting to do in their own lives. Life is too short to be obsessed Talking about someone. Let’s not spread negativity.

  • Reply
    theresa
    20 February 2017 at 07:03

    I find it funny to see your post with playlist for backstabbers. I just don’t really care about people talking behind my back. I just think that my life is so interesting for them to talk about me. I can’t control what’s on other people’s minds.

  • Reply
    Irma Jašarević
    20 February 2017 at 16:29

    I love positive articles like this one. You are completely right if people talk about you that almost certainly means you are an interesting person. So I actually started to like people who talk behind me back. I consider them to be my personal fan group. 😀

  • Reply
    Kris
    21 February 2017 at 08:55

    I agree with every items raised on this post. I used to always think what people would say behind my back when I was younger but I get pas over it. They’re behind your back for a reason and any opinion from them should not even matter. I would just think that I may be having an awesome life – much more colors than their boring adventures. Lol!

  • Reply
    Ella Ivoire
    21 February 2017 at 15:52

    “While you’re talking behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass” hahahaha that one really cracked me up. Absolutely agree with you! Sometimes it’s not that our life is interesting in a sense, it’s more like people have nothing else to do/think. I think that the best way for us to deal with it is to make peace with ourselves and say something like “if you’re gonna talk about me, call me – I know terrible secrets about myself” and laugh it off

  • Reply
    Kylie
    22 February 2017 at 08:57

    What I value about this post is that you’ve not only helped people in re-framing the topic, but you’ve also offered a fun music listing as well. Years ago my photographer would say to me “At least they are talking, you’re worth talking about!” Keep up the great work!

  • Reply
    Maria
    27 February 2017 at 19:31

    It was unusual to read a personal post with a playlist at the end. That made me laugh for a moment. In truth, it’s really normal to encounter people talking behind your back. I’ve some experiences with this kind of things. It’s truly annoying yet it’s better to think that they’re just insecure about something. But, it’s better to just shrug them of and smile at them. It’s them who’s going to have some wrinkles and not you. :)

  • Reply
    Marge
    28 February 2017 at 02:21

    I wish I read this when I was still in my previous company because people there like to talk sh*t about other people. Then I found out that they were also talking mean things about me. I told my friend there that I really don’t care. To be honest, they’re only flattering me by making me feel important, so much that they had to talk about me haha… I can’t imagine though that some people would talk behind your back, I know we don’t know each other but you look so adorable and kind to me.

  • Reply
    Me-An Clemente
    28 February 2017 at 19:35

    I agree with the points you’ve mentioned. However, it’s innate for humans especially for women to gossip. I like your attitude of being apathetic. Sometimes being talked behind our back can also work to our advantage. It generates buzz and we become more known. As for me, I just rant to my partner whenever there are people who acts unkindly towards us. He’s a great listener and a cheerleader :)

  • Reply
    Dominika
    4 March 2017 at 19:03

    This was a very helpful post to help me ignore the back stabbers. it’s so encouraging to find out that people talk about me because my life is so interesting. great post.

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